i Will Fall For You, Over Again
by FieldsandHastings
Summary: Spemily
1. Chapter 1

Its my first fic and I would love to hear any feedback. Thank you!

* * *

I'm standing at the edge of the park. A few feet ahead is a cliff looking over the town I'm in constant turmoil with. From up here it looks miniature, like a child's toy that can be manipulated at will.

The cold breeze feels good against my hot skin.  
Taking the water bottle out of my bag, I sit on the bench with my pants all covered in dirt and sweat trickling from my neck down to my back.

This vodka-induced reverie is getting worse, and I couldn't help but let my thoughts go spiral back down to my conundrum: Alison.  
Since her disappearance my life was thrown in a whirlwind of unanswered questions. Questions I don't know how to ask or whom to ask it to, leaving me in a sleep deprived unpleasant trance for the past year.

Lost in the last hour of darkness, I wait for the sun to come up and fix my gaze on the little specs of light in the sky.

"Are you one of them now Alison? A star like you always wanted to be?!"

I didn't mean to yell that out loud. Guess that water didn't do jack shit for me.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I swallowed the lump in my throat.

I know where that leads. And I can't cry now. Not anymore. A year of grieving and longing is done. I need to move on.

My friends have.

Hanna is taking the queen bee role in all of its glory. Spencer is moving on to be more glorious than her academic achievements can offer. And Aria… well she literally just moved away from Rosewood.

But now it's my turn.

My turn to focus on my future. My turn to live free from Alison's mysterious and confusing hold.

I have Charles Dickens in my hand. Its creased pages and darker shade of color shows my 12-month obsessive grip, hoping to find some subliminal message in between the lines. Hoping to find her.

"Goodbye Ali." My voice so hoarse, I barely recognize it.

I drop the book down to my newly dug 2-feet hole and now covering it with intentions of burying all her memories out of my head.

Beep Beep!

_Don't say goodbye yet Em. You've always been my favorite –A_

What the –


	2. Chapter 2

"Emily!" a loud high pitch voice echoing the hallway. I recognize it instantly. And I'm walking as fast as my legs could carry me.

"Oh Emiily!" Urgh. Why is she extra annoying today? Did she notice the vodka I stole on my way out of her party? Crap.

I quickly stop on my tracks. Hoping she'll crash into something solid and get a head concussion. Amnesia will help her forget my name.

But that failed.

So I feigned the most innocent smile I can muster.

"Hi Paige" I clutch on to my books tightly, as if they can save me from drowning in my temporary misery.

"So where'd you run off to last night? The birthday girl, as in me, needed her co-captain to show these juniors how to party and you just bailed!"

Lie

"I had to get home. To get ready for tests and stuff." Aaand that sounded better in my head.

"Uhuh yeah sure! That totally makes sense coz it's only the first day of school and you're lying to me." She states bluntly with her brow arching higher by the second. It's a scary sight.

So I Panic

"It's a Ben thing." I blurted out.

An uncomfortable silence fell, and a glint in her eye that I couldn't place.

"Are you guys back together?"

"No. I just … returned his stuff." Relief seems to paint her face this time.

"Well you missed a hell of a party!" I know she'll start telling stories soon about people I could care less and the juvenile events I didn't witness. So I give her a pained smile and start paddling my steps towards the opposite direction.

"Sorry, but I gotta go Paige. See you at practice!" before she could object I left in speeds that I can normally just do in the pool.

* * *

The sprint walk away from Paige got me inside the classroom early.

I decide to take the seat next to the window at the back of the room. Quite a departure from where I was sitting last year.

Last year… I shouldn't go there again. Its weird enough to get an eerie text message, I don't think I can handle any more retrospection for now. Focus on the future Em, my new mantra.

More people are finally filling the empty seats. Grateful for the distraction, I take out my book.

A picture is sticking out.

It's the five of us. Aria, with her quirky smile, Hannah's beaming face bright as sunshine, Ali with a mischievous grin and Spencer exuding confidence in a sexy smirk. And there I am, smiling with a secret.

A secret I vowed to keep. A secret Ali somehow figured out before I could. But who put this-

"Hello class! My name is Ezra Fitz, your new English teacher" his voice forced me out of my thoughts.

Suddenly I notice some familiar figures.

"Holy Crap!" Mr. Fitz, looking shock at his unanticipated outburst is staring at Aria who's also mirroring his wide eye, jaw dropping reaction.

Okay, what just happened? And when did Aria come back?

He loudly clears his throat as if it could erase whatever awkward scene just happened. He then starts his lecture with a collected but shaky voice, like a boy going through puberty again.

Interesting.

Hanna sitting next to a talking Mona is less interested with what just happened, immersed in a conversation that most likely consist of boys and fashion.

While on the front of my row, I see an irate looking Spencer shooting sharp glances at Mona to shut up.

Great.

Close your eyes, deep breath! I ordered myself.

Exhale.

That seems to slow down the pounding in my chest.

* * *

I kept my head down until the bell rang, hoping this is the only time I get to see them. But alas, as the cruel universe would have it three of them are all in my classes!

So I stayed out of sight, refusing to acknowledge their existence. Until on my way to practice, I bumped into someone I dreaded to encounter the most.

BAM! And there goes her books scattered on the floor. My graceful ways just gets thrown out of the window when I'm around her.

"Fuck!" she muttered in annoyance.

" I..I… I'm sorry Spence" I stand there like an idiot who can't breathe and immobile, afraid to do more damage. But I force myself to bend my knees and help her pick up the books. Her face softens after she heard my apology, slowly tilting her head to look at me. Realizing it was me.

"Hi" her voice so small and her face displaying all kinds of expression at once that I can't decipher. Then suddenly, everything seems to move in a slower pace, like we have all the time in the world to bask in each other's presence.

And so for a moment I let myself bask by pretending we're not holding the same book, that her thumb was not on top of mine and that it didn't give me goose bumps, because I know my heart wont be able to take it. We're just frozen in time, staring at each other, living in a space without the bewildering complexities of our feelings.

The edge of her lips starts to purse into a smile, but a loud noise of a locker being slammed somewhere snapped me out of my haze.

What am I doing? I need to get out of here.

So I left, not looking back at the mess I made.


	3. Chapter 3

11:30pm

Sleep seems to have left me permanently. And wrestling with my blanket for two hours didn't help with the room's rising temperature. Opening the window, I place myself beside it. Wondering why the street looks brighter than usual.

The moon is extremely bright; reminding me of the night she broke my heart. When she told me she can't- Shit. I need to get out of this room.

Running should help.

I stretch the kinks out of my body before starting on course. 15 minutes later and I'm back to where I buried Ali's book.

I sit down to catch my breath.

The low humming of crickets and the fresh air relaxes my muscles. Breathing in deeply, my head starts to play our unexpected encounter this morning. It's slower this time. More so that I can feel her heart beating as fast as mine. I revel in it. Taking every precious seconds I can get. When did things got so screwed up? I promised myself two days ago to move on and one clumsy run in and I'm back to square one!

This is insane!

"If you were here you'd tell me she's a bitch and that I deserve better!" Is it wrong to talk to a buried book? I don't know but it seems to help. I let my hands catch my head, feeling heavier than usual out of frustration.

"Ali would say that." The voice coming from behind has my body paralyze for a split second until I realize who's it is.

Hanna

Her face looking guilty knowing she interrupted a supposedly private moment.

"I'm sorry for being here. I didn't know you were here until I saw you here!" she said it faster than an auctioneer. I relax seeing her in an apologetic nervous state.

"No worries Han."

She slowly approaches the bench and flops herself next to me. A minute of comfortable silence had me staring back at the city's blinking lights.

"You think she eloped with some boy? Then sends a text message just to creep me out?"

My ear perked at the mention of text message.

"You got a text message?"

She nodded.

"But how do you know its Alison?"

"We don't." I give her a questioning look.

"Aria and Spencer got one too" Oh, so they talk now. My face fell and she sees it.

"Listen Em", adjusting her body to fully look at me. "I'm sorry for avoiding you," she breathes in before continuing, "I didn't know how to handle the situation, and every time I see anyone of you guys I'm reminded of Ali."

I don't have to look at her to feel the weight of her sincerity, besides I know exactly how she feels, being queen of avoidance and all.

"Talking to Aria and Spencer just made me realize that we can't move on from what happened if we all don't do it together."

I keep my sights beyond the cliff and straight to Rosewood. "We need to know who's sending us these messages Em…For Ali's sake and ours"

For a moment I let this sink in. What if this is just a sick prank? And what about moving on?

But whom am I kidding really. Every thought that I process always includes them. She sees my hesitation. "Will you at least try?"

How can I say no to her pleading face? No, to someone who has been a sister to me. Despite of our recent falling out, she's still my best friend. So succumbing to her request is the only option.

My reassuring smile comforts her and out of nowhere, she jumps up wrapping her arms around me in a tight bear hug.

"I miss you too Han!" struggling to get the words out while trying to break free before she knocks the wind out of me.


	4. Chapter 4

Monday is the least favorite day of the week for a reason; and my face projects it unapologetically, especially since my car broke down, I had no choice but to take the bus with some obnoxious sophomores in it.

So my cranky mood, justified.

I'm pondering the thought of getting coffee but my taste buds fight it. This caffeine craze never sticks with me and I've always wondered why. The bitter taste perhaps? Or maybe the rubber bandy effect it has on my energy. Don't matter, I'll settle with something sweeter.

Walking inside the cafeteria, I see the banner for next month's swim meet. Instantly, my blood boils and the sea of body around me becomes suffocating. I resisting the urge to punch anyone who's gonna ask me about the event. That's Paige's job to advertise, being the new captain and all.  
I hate this fact, but I'd never admit it to anyone. And for whatever it's worth, she deserves it. The team can't have someone that's mourning and more engross over their best friend's disappearance than leading them to championships. Paige stepped up to the plate and I coerced myself to willingly step down.

"Here, I got you hot chocolate which I'm sure, you prefer more than coffee." Aria appears out of nowhere like an angel without wings rescuing me from my self-destructive Monday blues.

"Thank you!" grabbing the cup like I'm dying of dehydration.

"Feeling better?" She's smiling, proud of her self and quite amuse of my desperate gulps.

"Yes." I reply almost too faint to hear out of embarrassment. "You are welcome." She chuckles.

"How'd you know I needed it?" Asking her before sipping some more.

"Because you look like you were ready to murder anyone who's standing a foot radius from you. Not to mention, that once upon a summer, I was one of your best friends." She cheekily grins.

"As far as I know, you left me for some country, with lands covered in ice. As far as eyes can see! " Exaggerating the last phrase with fairy tale like narration.

"The country is called Iceland Em." Rolling her eyes playfully at my lame attempt of a joke.

"Is this your way of apologizing Ar?" she stiffens. "Coz one cup of hot chocolate is not gonna cut it." I keep my serious façade but she broke eye contact and starts to look at the ground. "But a months supply should". I smile and she laughs in relief.

"Jerk!" She hugs me with all her petite strength. And I know she misses me too.

The seats outside the cafeteria are empty so I tilted my head towards it giving a sign, hoping Aria follows because I don't think I can handle being in a confined space with this too much people.

She didn't disappoint.

"Hanna talked to me about the text message you and Spencer got." I ask, sitting down across from her.

She looks at me with a tinge of fear on her eyes "I'm really creep out about this Em."

"You don't think it might be someone who's trying to prank us? You know like Halloween?" trying to console her hinting the fact that it might be Ali.

"I don't think so" she's playing with her fingers, looking lost in her own thoughts.

This is indeed creepy but I sense there's more to this than what she's telling me. So I reach out for her hand "I promise we'll figure this out. All four us" She's smiles gratefully and I return it.

The bell rings for what seem like an eternity in my head. Scared of what's ahead.

Heading to the classroom I prepare myself to see Spencer, praying to all pagan gods that I don't do any more humiliating clumsy stunts.

Aria leads the way and on cue my heart skips. Spencer has her focus face on, writing something on a torn piece of paper.

I quickly pass by her to get to my seat at the back of the room, but she swiftly holds my wrist to stop me and turns to Noel Khan who's sitting behind her, "can you please exchange spots with Emily? I'm tutoring her" giving him a cold and intimidating smile afterwards.

He cowers and hesitantly obliged. I sit feeling all kinds of awkward.

Then Mr. Fitz appears wearing his boyish grin and a vest that look like he stole from that teacher in GLEE. He gets ready to start the class and Spencer sneakily hands me the note she was writing earlier.

_Meet me at my house after school. We need to talk._

She intently looks at me for my response and I nod in agreement.

Just great. What does she want from me now? This better be about the text message and not that summer. Shit. How am I gonna talk without choking on my own saliva? I close my eyes and massage my temple to calm my thoughts down. Well, there's only one way to find out.


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer's car is in the driveway. I wonder why she left so sudden after first period.

The door to the kitchen is slightly open and I see her going about preparing coffee in a habitual way. Knowing where everything are placed in the cabinets without looking, while reading, and the graceful execution of her moves is just mesmerizing.  
Bet she can do it with blindfolds on. Bet she'd look better with blindfolds on and naked. I grin.

"Quit standing there and come in Em" Shit how'd she do that? Her back's facing me while leaning on the table stirring coffee.

"Oh, uhm… HI" I close the door behind and grab the nearest chair holding on to it before my knees betray me.

"Here, made you some hot cocoa." She smiles while sliding the cup towards me, its one of those rare genuine smile that reaches her eyes. And it's been too long since the last time I saw her like this.

"Thanks" For some reason the gesture calmed my nerves, so I took the chance to ask her "Why did you leave school early today?"

"Because mom called the principal to excuse me."

"Why?" She hesitates to answer "Family thing" her face falters, erasing that coveted smile.

"Oh" I say nodding my head as if satisfied by her answer. She looks at me for a good minute either trying to gauge my face or looking for strength to tell me something. Her eyes probing, face pleading.

"What is it Spence?"

"The reason why I asked you to see me- "

A heavy knock on the door interrupts.

"Spencer!" its Aria with Hanna in tow. I don't know if I should feel relieved or pissed off!

"Guys, what's wrong?" Spencer asking them disconcertingly, they look like they ran a mile with heels on. Now I'm worried.

"We passed by Ali's house and there's police officers all over the place"

Without second thought I sprinted out of the kitchen to see if Ali's back. I did not mind not breathing. I need to see her! I knew she'd be back!

In what almost feels like a blink of an eye, I get there.

"Ali?" A girl with blonde hair, body frame just like Ali, is standing next to the gate, sobbing but her face is half covered with a handkerchief. I reach my hand out to her shoulder to make sure, when mid air; I see a body bag roll out from the house.  
Ali's mom suddenly rushes through a squad of police officers who's pushing the gurney out, throwing her self on top of the body and screaming Alison's name.

What? No! This can't be.

The realization hit me like a baseball bat whacked on my chest and bricks falling down on my head at the same time; making me lose my balance. But someone caught me and I don't care who. All I know is Alison's dead!

I let my tears fall and watch the scene before me in a heart breaking slow motion reel. My knees feel weaker than earlier and I can't make a sound. Every fiber of my muscle is losing strength but I need to leave! I can't watch this anymore.

So I run with all of the energy that's left in me.

* * *

My lungs hurt but I can't stop my legs from running, not until I got here.

The place hasn't change. Some shrubs are growing over the fence but the tree by the lake with our carvings still stands, so are the chairs and bonfire cauldron. The cabin looks dated and uncared for reflecting the year and months of not having visitors in it.

I sit next to the tree, using it to support my body that's too exhausted to think and cry. Closing my eyes, my mind transports me to a different time.

"Come on Em! Join me, it'll cool your horny ass down!" my eyes bugged out in surprise. She keeps splashing me with lake water where she's currently swimming in.

"Shhh… Ali! What the hell?!" she laughs maniacally.

"Relax, she's inside the cabin and if the way you stare at her doesn't give it away, then I don't know what will" I shift uncomfortably in my seat thinking, is that obvious?

The splashing stop, she comes out of the water, sits close next to me and nudge's my shoulder "Your secret's safe. Including those times when you were crushing on me before her." She slowly articulates every word in an almost whisper manner and plants a chaste kiss on my cheek. Blood rushes up to my face, painting me beet red.

Ali laughs in complete bliss. Proud to have elicited the response she wants.

"Don't be jealous" trying to cover my utter embarrassment.

"Oh honey, you know I can have you if I want to. Luckily for Spencer I'm into older boys. Now she doesn't have to compete with me to get you."

I scoff "she's light years beyond my league." shaking my head.

"You're the captain of the reigning champion swim team! A rock star, specially because our football team sucks!"

"She's a Hastings who owns half of Philly! Besides she doesn't even like girls"

"Not girls. Just a girl" she winks and stands up dragging me into the water.

She starts splashing me again but I duck down quickly and swim beneath grabbing her wriggling legs stealthily. I can hear her screams reverberating while I'm under water immediately followed by a hearty laugh.

We continue playing around until she finally realizes that she can't win with me in my turf. So we start to float around like dead wood.

"Who is this older boy?"

"Well how about you guys come with me to his party tonight and I'll introduce you?"

"Oooh, party" Aria interjects unexpectedly.

"Jesus, Ar you gotta stop using that ninja skills on me"

"Why so jumpy Em?" water splashing ensues, courtesy of Alison saving me from answering the possible incriminating question.

Hanna and Spencer jump's in to join Aria's team in hopes of taking Alison and me down.

"Hey not fair! 3 against 2?" I call out.

"Come on Fields, you know very well that we have the disadvantage here. Or are you chiickeen?" She sticks her tongue out.

Challenge accepted. "Bring it Hastings"

Her eyes widen seeing my demeanor change into predator mode. Then she swims with all her might fearing of what I might do when I get her. Tickling her foot will be the ultimate punishment and she knows.

Letting her have a head start, I casually look back at the rest of the girls who appears to have lost interest in the game. They were too quick to get out of the water.

"Go get her Em! We're gonna go inside and find some outfit for tonight" Alison giving me a wink on the sly.

"Ok losers whatever!" I pout.

Get ready Spence here I come.

While doing my leisure strokes, I can't help but notice that she stopped moving. Like something's holding her down, preventing her from swimming or staying afloat.

I quickly swim in a speed I've never achieved before.

Her body is fully submerged now, immediately I tread down. I see a huge log with long branches spread out like a lethargic octopus latched on Spencer's ankle; it's dragging her down to the bottom!

I reach the branch but I'm having a hard time untying it and I see the panic in Spencer's eyes, she's losing air!

Instinct kick in and I place my lips on hers. I force it open with my thumb on her chin blowing air in to buy me some time. She takes it.

With adrenalin coursing through me I was able to break the branch instead of wasting time to figure out the knot. My left arm is holding her while the other's paddling us out of the water.

Instantly I lay her body on the ground to check for breathing.

No movement.

After 2 chest compressions she starts sputtering water and I let her cough everything out. Afterwards, she breathes in deep quick intervals, then on normal rhythm.

Realizing she's going to be ok, my body starts to give in to shock.

"Em?" I'm still kneeling over her but I couldn't move,

"Emily?" she calls my name softly and lovingly touches my cheek; the warmth radiating from her palms made me blink and thaw out my frozen limbs.

Exhale.

"Fuck Spencer I thought I lost you" letting go of the breath I did not remember holding in.

She hugs me so tight that I can feel her body shake. Crying. "shhh…." Caressing her back.

A few moments pass and she starts laughing. It's contagious, so now I'm laughing too.

"Thank you for saving my life." Letting go from her embrace.

"That's why you leave swimming to the pros Hastings" I retort, with a smug face. She half-heartedly hit my arm and laughs again.

But I didn't laugh with her this time. All I can do is stare at her pale face that is now slowly gaining back its color. I tuck a lose strand of hair around her ear. She shivers. Unintentionally, my sights fell on her lips and back to her eyes.

She looks back at me with intensity that I've never seen before; in a way that she could probably memorize every mole and pores that I have. Our face is now inching closer for unfathomable reasons.

Like an immovable object meets unstoppable force, our lips crash into each other. We kiss with fervor, with an urgency to keep contact or both of us will lose the nerves to continue. She's holding my hair for anchor as if she's gonna float away if she lets go. And I let her.

But I hear something in the background. A branch breaking like someone is stepping on it. She must've heard it too because she pushed me off her. She looks back to where the sound came from and starts to force herself up to step away from me.

I stand, not knowing what to do, waiting for someone to show up. But no one was there.

The tension in the air reflects our awkward stance. Her mouth keeps opening and closing as if she wants to say something but couldn't find the right words.

"Spence" My effort to do the same pays off but that's the only word I can come up with.

Someone's calling out our names from the cabin. It might be Hanna but I'm not sure.

"We should go back" defeat is all I'm feeling, like the war did not even start and I lost already.

"Ok" is all I could say and watch her walk away from me is all I could do.


	6. Chapter 6

(**more flashbacks** and many thanks to the people who took the time to review)

* * *

I did not feel like going to that party, but Ali's word is law and yet again helplessness owns me.

"Don't slouch Em, your butt will look flat and that color does not go with your eyes." call me an idiot, but Ali sometimes speaks in language beyond my simple fashion comprehension.

"Guys are you ready? Spencer just pulled up" Hanna can't hide the excitement in her voice, just like how my heart can't contain its unsettling conflicts.

After everyone said goodbye to Ms. Marin, We head to Spencer's car. The second row seat, passenger side, was the farthest place I could put myself and this will have to do for the next twenty minutes.

Aria is busy texting god knows who, Ali's fiddling with the radio trying to find the perfect music while I refuse to look at Spencer.

"Why are you so quite Em?" Hanna, leaning in to keep the conversation between us.

"Just… tired of swimming"

But nothing passes Ali's supersonic hearing "Don't worry, a few drinks and that'll fix you right up." Finally, words that actually make sense. Hanna offers a comforting smile. "Try to have fun tonight ok?" But instead of replying, my head turns toward the rear view mirror just in time to find Spencer's piercing eyes boring through mine for a millisecond before tearing it away.

Oh its gonna be fun alright.

* * *

This is a frat party, judging by the house' big Greek alphabets plastered at the front and the kegs of beer lined up in every corner. Uncomfortable is the first feeling that crawls all over my skin, but the promise of alcohol to drown my beaten heart out weighs it.

While leaving the group I see Alison at the corner of my eye talking to some guy. The need to know who mystery boyfriend number one hundred was squashed when I see a lonely vodka chilling amongst the incredible array of alcohol on the table. After grabbing it, I head out to the porch where there's less people and more air for my head.

Outside looking in, I see the gyrating bodies moving in rhythm to the music, the intermittent party howls, and Spencer dancing with Aria. Out here, Spencer looks stiff flailing her hands as she jumps around the floor. Is that what she calls dancing? Well, I don't really expect much from her when it comes to this since her brain stores so much information that it couldn't take up dancing anymore. But Aria, come on, you can do better than that!

I can't help but chuckle. Spencer looks so damn cute without even trying. But the sad part is, she doesn't even know it. Sometimes her world gets so wrapped up around her sibling rivalry with Melissa that she doesn't realize how imperfectly perfect she is and that's what makes her beautiful.

"Em, why are you out here?"

"Oh, hey Han" she smells the alcohol on me because her nose scrunched. Her eyes travels and spots it.

"Give me that bottle" she snatches it out of my hand and takes a swig. The expression on her face tells me that she wanted to spit it out but ended up swallowing it because it was half way there and she's too embarrass to make a scene. She's getting teary eyed and I laugh without reservations, letting me know that my buddy vodka is doing its job tonight. Making me happy.

She's laughing now, uninhibitedly. But then the crowd falls silent. The music stopped and low murmuring voices is all I hear. I look at Hanna still oblivious of what's happening inside the house, still laughing, still has her eyes shut and clutching her stomach.

I grab her arm and drag her inside the house.

My sudden movements got her looking confuse but she did not fight me because as soon as we enter the house we see a girl's body lying next to the stairs, almost lifeless.

Aria, on my peripheral, is running towards us. "Outside. Now!"

What the fuck is going on?!

* * *

Spencer's pinned down, her back on the grass with a girl on top forcibly trying to reach for her hair. The girl is wearing a Sharks varsity jacket. Unfortunately, her face is covered by the hoodie in between struggles, making it hard for me to see her face. But Spencer gains the upper hand in a sudden move. Using her feet, she flips them both to gain position on top, freeing her fist and lands a punch on her opponent's mouth. The crowd around them starts to cheer and I run to sweep her up and break the fight before she kills the unknown girl.

"Get off me!"

"Calm down Spence!" I have my arms locking her upper limbs down. Aria helps me by holding her legs to keep from kicking me. All three of us fell to the ground. She's incredibly strong for a small body but I did not loosen my grip.

"Let me go!"

"Only if you calm down Spencer!" I yell out. Sirens begin to blare from afar and the people around us starts to run away, including the girl Spencer fought with.

I'm holding Spencer tighter now almost too tight for her to breathe just to get her attention. "Listen, we need to go or we're all going to jail," I say as calmly as I can without gritting my teeth because of the sheer force I'm using to keep her steady. The police are getting closer and finally she snaps out of her rage.

The three of us starts to run towards the car but Hanna and Alison is not with us. "Aria! Start the car and meet me at the second street after this. I'm getting Hanna and Ali!"

Spencer starts to paddle back to go with me "NO! go with Aria NOW!" my thunderous voice shakes her up, making her finally listen to my instruction.

Looking back, the front lawn has cleared out, creating an easier passage for me to sprint straight inside the house. I find Ali and Hanna kneeling down, looking over the unconscious body we saw earlier. "Ali! Han! The Cops are here!" They both raise their head at the same time and follow me out without question.

"Shit!" Footsteps and flashlights are everywhere.

I made gestures for them to duck down behind the bushes before the cops see us. Crawling is the only way we can get moving and so I start making our way to the street where hopefully the car is waiting. The busted streetlight is making it hard to find Spencer and Aria. Moments passed and Ali taps my shoulder pointing at a blinking headlight.

It's them. Thank God.

We get inside the car and surprise to see Spencer behind the wheel. I look at Aria "She insisted" replying ever so quickly knowing what the look meant. Typical hard headed Spencer.

The ride back is quiet. Nobody bothered to turn on the radio. Everyone's head is confined in their own thoughts and questions. The rush I felt dwindled and my body is starting to feel fragile. So I lean on the window shield for support, finding the magnificent sight of the moon reassuring.

"Drop me off my place Spencer" Ali breaks the silence.

"But aren't you guys sleeping over tonight? Moms not -"

"I don't have time to babysit you Han" Ali chided. This type of outburst from her is not new and we all take it. Because as bad as her temperamental attitude is, she equally requites it with friendship and loyalty we all need.

We stayed quiet afterwards but I reach for Hanna's hand, letting her know that I'll stay with her tonight. Because after all the shit that went down, I can't be alone either.

She squeezed back, getting my message.

As soon as we reach Ali's place she leaves, without even saying goodbye and slams the car door a little harshly.

We all jerk from the loud impact.

"I'll stay with you Han" Aria decides to speak.

"Thank you" she's feeling more relieved now, the way she loosen her grip on my hand.

Spencer parks the car in the Marin's drive way. And gets out with us. "You're staying?" Aria beat me to the question. "Yeah" Hanna can't help but hug Spencer. Being alone is not an option tonight, besides there are questions that need answers.

"Lets go in before Spencer bleed to death" noticing the specs of bloodstains around her knees.

* * *

I busy myself rummaging through the kitchen cabinets looking for some Neosoprin to apply on Spencer's scratches. I can hear Aria and Hanna upstairs getting ready to shower. Oh found it.

"Remind me not to get to your bad side Spence" she did not respond. Her attention is fully engrossed on her left knee, where the biggest shallow cut is showing. I sit across waiting for her leg to extend so I can apply the cream.

"Give me that, I'll do it." She still does not look at me but instead at the tube I'm holding. Is she purposely ignoring me? I guess the questions are gonna have to start now.

"Who was that you were fighting with Spence?"

"None of your business Em. Now can you just give me the cream?" she's not the only one who's stubborn here. I don't move an inch, waiting for her to face me.

"Damn it Emily! Give it -"

"Finally! Is it that hard to look at me?"

"Yes!"

We're having a stare off. And I'm trying to read whatever meaning lays behind the resentment in her eyes. But I break the connection. I look down, not able to stand the burn, it hurts too much being expose like this.

She sighs.

"I…I can't do this Emily. Whatever this is." She stands from her seat. "You're my best friend and it needs to stay that way. Giving in will just… destroy everything." She sits back down with tears welling around the corner of her eyes.

I feel my heart sink down to my stomach. There is nothing to fight for here. Clearly she does not feel the same way. And that defeat just got embedded right through my soul.

"Consider everything forgotten" but my voice fail to conceal the bitterness.

"I'm sorry Em" I did not expect for her to hug me, clutching my shoulders for reassurance of my friendship. My arms feel heavy though, so they stay down and like a stone I stand still, unlike my heart that keeps traveling lower down to my feet.


	7. Chapter 7

Slowly I open my eyes, confuse as to when I fell asleep. It's gotten dark and the traces of tears on my cheek feel crusted. As I was about to stand, I hear footsteps heading towards me. So I move slowly, trying to avoid giving out my position. My hand stumbled on a piece of wood and I grab it.

I hear the leaves rustle in a manic pace. My body tenses and I tighten my grip on my wooden weapon, ready to pounce on whoever's there. A light is bouncing around, is that a phone?

The pounding on my chest is so loud this person could probably hear it. Its getting closer now…

A body slips on the slight slope above, bringing its figure right in front of me! I raise my weapon to hit it when the phone fell and illuminated us.

"Spencer?!" She fell on her ass looking equally as scared as me.  
"Shit Spence I almost killed you!"

"Fuck Emily, You scared me!" I scared her? Urgh! My panting leaves me speechless instead I roll my eyes at the irony. She stands and lends her hand to help me up.

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you Em. I was worried… and so is the girls."

"Where are they?"

"I'm not sure, Hanna was driving around town with Aria and I decided to come up here instead." Why is it so damn cold?

"Here" She gives me her jacket seeing me rub my shoulders.

"No. Im fine."

"Take it Em. Don't make me put it on you or this is just gonna be more awkward" Well if you put it that way.

"Ok" I said taking the jack slowly and putting it over my shoulder.

"Let's go inside the cabin before we die of hypothermia"

* * *

The creaking of the door reminded me of the house during Halloween, where Ali trapped us for her sadistic amusement. My hand is shaking but stopped as soon as Spencer grabs a hold of it.

"Its alright. Its safer in here than being out in the cold" her soothing voice eases my fret.

Times like this make me hate you Spencer, you're just… making it too damn hard for me not to fall for you.

She smiles as if reading my thoughts.  
Shit did I think that out loud?

To hide my increasing self-consciousness, I let go of her hand and she pretends like it was nothing but her disappointed face says otherwise.

"Sit on the couch ok? I'll light up the fireplace"

But I can't stay still. No, I can't let myself watch her move or I'll just fall into a trance full of unrequited yearning.

"Do you have any coffee or something?"

"We might? Not really sure. It's been a while."

"I'll go check"

The familiar place is not hard to navigate despite the lack of light. I was hoping to find anything but coffee, but knowing the Hastings; not having caffeine is like depriving them of oxygen.

"You alright Em?" She calls out from the living room.

"Yeah, found it." I start the coffee maker, shaking off the feeling of her eyes raking up and down my body, probably checking for injuries from our blunder earlier.

"The beans might taste a little stale" I hear her lean on the wall, still watching me.

I stay silent. My eyes wander to the window, framing the darkness that blankets over the woods. Was darkness all she saw before she died? How did she die? And who could've done this? Did she commit suicide? No. She couldn't. She loves herself too much.

I close my dry eyes, failing to blink, preoccupied by more questions than ever having answers.

It's my turn to lean on something, my body is exhausted and the counter serves me well. But Spencer moved and she's standing behind me. Ridiculously close, almost eliminating any space. She snakes her arms around my hips.

"I know you're tired. Let me take care of you." She whispers in my right ear. Her voice is intoxicating, leaving my sense of balance on her mercy. But she did not let go and I let her hold me. We're just standing, feeling the comfortable warmth envelope us.

"Everything will be alright. We'll get through this." She softly continues. "I'm going to let you sleep ok?"

I did not want to end this feeling. Being in her arms, her breath on my neck and the tingling sensation in my stomach. But I can't dwell on this longer or I'll lose control. Control I have struggled to master for the last year. So I agreed, I should sleep. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a better grasp on what's happening to me. On the extent of how my universe is forever altered by Ali's death.


End file.
